Obviously before I left for China I bought Lonely Planet China. Obviously I read the part about Hangzhou multiple times. That section was actually fairly small, since China is an enormous country and the spines of Lonely Planet books are only so strong. I think it is a secret joke of Lonely Planet, 'haha, you are brave enough to come to China without a guide, we'll give you a brief outline of the bus system, find your own entertainment!' Back to the point: LP did suggest a street food called beggar's chicken that is apparently the quintessential street meat. Think rolled tacos to San Diego, hot dogs with cream cheese to Seattle. That's how beggar's chicken was mentioned.

So, the first time we went to West Lake in Hangzhou, there were three of us strolling along the waterfront. There is a lot of waterfront at West Lake, which is a good thing because there are a lot of tourists. West Lake really is very beautiful. An ancient saying goes something along these lines, 'there is heaven, and there is Suzhou and Hangzhou.' This is also an excellent hyperbole. Nevertheless, the water is tranquil if you don't look too close, the lily pads and lotus flowers are very lovely, there are some delightful pagodas sprinkled here and there, and if it is a clear day, the sun sets over a range of mountains on the other side of the like. Plenty of restaurants, bars, and shops line the street if you can dodge the parasol carrying Chinese and cross the street. This street is called Hubin Lu, and there is a plethora of things to do here. Do not be fooled by the lack of attention LP gave Hangzhou.

Back to the first trip to West Lake. NJ, BG, and I were walking, and walking, because that's the best activity when you don't know your way around, don't speak Chinese, and pretty much haven't figured out what else to do. During all this walking you might see a confident Chinese hombre posing for a postcard-esque photo with his shirt rolled up half-way and holding on to his belly. He did not have a six-pack. You also might see a large group of people ogling and taking photos of a misplaced squirrel in a tree. I digress again. While we were walking, BG suggested we get some beggar's chicken at the tourist market when we got there. NJ loves trying local food; he was deadset against eating any Western food the whole time I was there. He is now in Beijing so I doubt this lasted. The point is that he was very excited about trying the best of the best local food. We continued walking and after discussing a few other things more than once, beggar's chicken came up again. Very casually mentioned still, nicely worked into the conversation you might say.

Upon arrival at the tourist market, we walked past all the shops with trinkets, fans, silk, roots you can use for medicinal purposes, and a Buddha with a belly rubbed clean. We got to the food market, and walked into it, becoming one large sweaty mesh with the heat and the crowds. BG pointed out the beggar's chicken, it comes wrapped in banana leaves. NJ grabbed one, they were only three kuai I believe, which is less then fifty cents. Don't hold me to that, I could be wrong. I didn't get one because I wasn't hungry. BG said he had the beggar's chicken before, and went to get something else.

We walked into McDonald's and that is what came out of the banana leaves. Everything you think you might be seeing, you are. Head, feet, gizzards, beggar's chicken promises a complete meal. This was the hardest I had laughed since my 5 brutal around-the-world flights, and it was glorious. After you are the victim of this joke, you almost want to invite all your friends to China just so you can persuade them to buy beggar's chicken and watch them peel away the banana leaves. The look exactly fits the credit card commercial that uses the priceless phrase. I did try a piece of it (breast meat!) and it tasted like...chicken.